You heard it here first, meadow sleepers! Lionel has finally sold out so that we can all bear witness to the latest in sedentary technology. Introducing: The Fuchair.
The Fuchair is a revolutionary new device that will change the way we interface with life itself. Gone are the days of strenuous, long walks and boring physical activity. The Fuchair is an all-terrain vehicle that can take you anywhere you want to go in comfort and style. Not only that, it also doubles as a mobile home!
Equipped with a state of the art mini-fridge, microwave, detachable shower head and built-in toilet, you can kiss rising housing costs and impending homelessness goodbye! It even has a back-mounted solar panel and internet modem so you can charge your phone and watch clickbait on the go! Download our app, and you can even beta test the Fuchair’s self-driving technology. Just activate your FREE account, fill out our comprehensive demographic information questionnaire, select your destination from a list of pre-approved locations, and you’re on your way! It’s that easy.
Our expert team of engineers and marketing interns has spent years of research and millions in taxpayer subsidies making sure that our state-of-the-art seat of the future works with all skin colors. In the spirit of economic growth, the Fuchair’s patented, on-the-go waste disposal system has already created thousands of new and exciting job opportunities in the sanitation and psychiatric industries. Not only that, the Fuchair’s iconic blue leather exterior is sustainably sourced from Paraguayan Cobalt cows that nobody likes.
If you order by the end of next week, we’ll even throw in a complimentary inclement weather protection device and an opened bottle of SPF 50 sunscreen!
Order now!
